What Do I Do With My Kids/Teens Big Emotion?

What do I do with my kid or teen’s emotions? They are so sensitive! He sobs uncontrollably! She screams and screams! Nothing stops them!⁠
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I hear this from parents all the time. ⁠
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Sometimes these feelings exist because they are going through bullying or other traumatic issues. But, sometimes it's just because of every-day emotional lives of children and teens. ⁠
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In my next 3 blog posts, I'm going to teach you how I handle my own kids emotions, and, how I coach my clients to make it through these stormy times.⁠
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Typically I first ask: What DO you do when their emotions are high?⁠
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Take a moment and think about your response to this question.⁠
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Often I hear these answers: I tell them to stop, I yell, I walk away, I tell them to stop crying, I distract them, I make a joke, I hug them but give up, I punish them, I try to problem solve, I put them in their room.⁠
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Fair. These times are SUPER hard. And, if we don't know how to handle these feelings, our go-to response is to shut them down ASAP so we can all breathe again.⁠
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But here's the thing: your child or teen is raging, because their stress hormone (cortisol) is super high. The only way to decrease their stress? Let them cry, scream, rage, bawl, yell, freak out.⁠
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Bummer eh?⁠
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But, the good news, is after these episodes - they are CALM. They are re-calibrated. They are happier... healthier... AND ready to problem solve.⁠
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Isn't that the goal? To try to ensure that this doesn't happen many more times?⁠
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Check my blog tomorrow for what to DO when you are in the midst of a meltdown, and, to get a nice visual guide you can download and have on hand when the next storm comes.⁠
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PS - If your child or teen is angry and hurting people or breaking things, that's NOT okay! Re-direct them to a safer place, and, allow them to continue to hit, but find something safe (like a pillow or couch cushion).⁠