conflict tip: People pleasingRead Now
As a recovering people pleaser, this quote from Rachel Hollis’ book Girl, Stop Apologizing really resonated with me.
It made me think: How is it possible to stop pleasing when we’ve been taught that our very WORTH is connected to other people’s happiness?
You are a good child if your parents are happy.
You are a good wife if your partner is happy.
You are a good mother if your children are happy.
You are a good worker if your boss is happy.
And so so tiring.
This moving target makes us shift and change our personalities, our schedules, our inner desires - ALL to make someone else happy… so that we can be worthy of love.
They key to change this is to realize that when you choose YOU others might be mildly uncomfortable.
But, making someone uncomfortable does NOT mean that we are bad: a bad mom, a bad wife, a bad daughter.
And it certainly doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve love.
It simply means that we matter too. That we shouldn’t always be the one compromising for other people’s comfort. It means that we have a right to choose our comfort too.
Kathleen is an anti-bullying specialist, a conflict coach, a teacher, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend...