There's been an interesting dialogue online recently about whether bullying can actually end without physical violence.
My thought? It can ABSOLUTELY end without violence. I see it with my clients 100% of the time.
But, here's the thing, the way to do it is by playing a completely new game. Instead of choosing to Power Over the bully (using BIGGER threats, acts of violence, fear or manipulation) or Powering Under (walking away, ignoring, avoiding, or hiding) we can Power With.
A person bullying is looking to make you scared. When you either lose your temper with them (scared) or walk away with your head lowered (scared) they get the jolt of power they were looking for.
Instead, I want you to consider what it might be like for you to be brave in the face of their assaults? Hard. I know, I get it. Keep reading, I think you'll see how!
Powering With means that you are being BOTH strong & kind. When we meld those two things together, we stop playing the bully's game. Stopping the game means that you stop giving them power. Stopping them from stealing your power means they get nothing from you...
And.... You guessed it... The bullying ends.
I see it time and time again.
Check me out in my bio to learn more about HOW to find this elusive Power With - I promise, it'll be worth your time!
#strongandkind #thirdway #kathleenhilchey #standtall #endbullying #stopbullying #assertive #mentalhealth #stopbullying #selflove #survivor #ptsd #metoo #abuse #parenting #antibullying #endbullying #selflove #kathleenhilcheyantibullying
This is my partner Joel.
He is funny, and fun, and creative, and open, and loving, and strong.
And even amidst all of these amazing qualities, our marriage can be quite challenging at times.
Because marriage - or partnership - is a hard thing to do and to maintain.
Joel and I are both “do-ers”. The benefit is that our lives are full - of amazing people, experiences, projects, and excitement. Being a “power couple” can be super exciting a lot of the time.
The downside is that our dreams are so big, that parts of us bump up against each other (and, as Joel would say “not in the good way”).
So… you might be wondering how we get through this - especially since having two driven people in a relationship can be particularly challenging.
To be honest - sometimes it’s not graceful. We yell, we storm off (and not in the “I just need a little space right now” healthy way). We can both be passive aggressive, or say things that we regret in the future.
Having 3 small kids, 4 businesses, a house and all the responsibilities that come with these things don’t always result in us being our best zen-like selves.
But, when we ARE doing well, we are able to figure things out. We go to therapy (we have 3 therapists and 2 energy healers between us!). But, I think that our success comes from the foundation of choosing to work it out, and, wanting the other partner to feel good.
From that place, we are able to stick with the hard conversations, be honest about our part, and move to a better place.
What I have been learning, especially this past year, is that if I can find my strong & kind voice, these hard parts untangle much more quickly.
If you want to learn more about this "strong and kind" voice, I'm launching a course on November 1st to teach women how to find it, use it, and make necessary shifts in their lives!
#findyourvoicecourse #strongandkind #marriage #partnership #staycalm #findyourvoicefindyourpower #kathleenhilchey #joelhilchey #love #conflict #conflictmanagement #conflictcoaching
Kathleen is an anti-bullying specialist, a conflict coach, a teacher, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend...