Yesterday, we talked about what to do when your kids are raging... or bawling... or showing other HUGE emotions.
We talked about how important it is to let them have their feelings. Not only will they feel supported, heard, and understood... But, by letting them have the full range of their emotions, they will decrease the amount of stress hormone in their body and will be open to problem solving!
So. Here's my guide to get YOU through this time. You can download it, save it, and pop it open on your phone during these intense moments as a guide.
Your job? Let them have their feelings.
Make listening sounds: "oh!" "ahhhh" "hmmmm..."
Connect to them - look sad, or worried, or frustrated FOR them.
Say back what they are saying - you don't have to agree, just make them know you've heard them - "Your brother hit you".
Say their feeling - "You are SO angry right now!"
And then let them do their thing. They might show bigger emotions, different emotions... but, at some point, they will burn out. They WILL stop, I promise. And when they do, they will feel calmer - and feel loved and cared for by YOU.
You have showed them that their feelings matter - and, ultimately, that THEY matter.
Only once they are down to a level 1 emotion only THEN do you try to find any solution to the problem.
You can do this - I promise it will help.
Kathleen is an anti-bullying specialist, a conflict coach, a teacher, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend...