on being a "good" woman

As a recovering people pleaser, this quote from Rachel Hollis’ book Girl, Stop Apologizing really resonated with me.⁠
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It made me think: How is it possible to stop pleasing when we’ve been taught that our very WORTH is connected to other people’s happiness?⁠
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You are a good child if your parents are happy.⁠
You are a good wife if your partner is happy.⁠
You are a good mother if your children are happy.⁠
You are a good worker if your boss is happy.⁠
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Bonkers, right?⁠
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And so so tiring.⁠
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This moving target makes us shift and change our personalities, our schedules, our inner desires - ALL to make someone else happy… so that we can be worthy of love.⁠
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They key to change this is to realize that when you choose YOU others might be mildly uncomfortable.⁠
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But, making someone uncomfortable does NOT mean that we are bad: a bad mom, a bad wife, a bad daughter.⁠
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And it certainly doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve love.⁠
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It simply means that we matter too. That we shouldn’t always be the one compromising for other people’s comfort. It means that we have a right to choose our own comfort too. ⁠
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#kathleenhilchey #findyourvoicefindyourpower #strongandkind #empowerment #feminism #strength #courage #opinions #shapeshifting #standstrong #justdoyou #whatdoiwant #findyourvoice