Look at the behaviours under "unlucky kids"? They are unlucky, because the way that they are showing discomfort is through behaviours that close our hearts.
Lucky kids? They cry, they stall, they cuddle in... And, we easily love them.
Why is this so profound for me? Because I have worked with these "unlucky kids" for years - both as kids and teens who bully, but also those who get picked on and explode.
What do I see behind my closed door once they feel safe? Tears, shame, discomfort... and mostly - a willingness to change.
What do they feel from society? That they are "bad" at their cores.
Most importantly - we need to understand that these unlucky kids will NEVER change when we punish or isolate them. They are lacking SKILLS to handle things better.
So - the next time a child, teen or adult explodes? Take a deep breath, and open that big heart of yours. Find out what's going on - stay curious - and THAT is what they need..
Kathleen is an anti-bullying specialist, a conflict coach, a teacher, mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend...